aryy

Sunday, 18^th July 2010

It was a Sunday like no other. Little did I know that a simple cleaning of my room could take me back to where I came from. Back to where I used to be.

I took a trip slowly down my years from the date stated above, it's like walking down memory lane. It's vague but blurry, for the evidence was like a riddle. I didn't keep any sort of diary, even my virtual diary wasn't good enough.

All that is left are all my books, small notes, rough sketches, unused codes, placards, colours, drawings, pictures, stationaries, and all that you could think off regarding school life. I even kept that redundant lighter that lit the smoke in my lungs every break we had in between lessons.

The dust and dirt seems to settled down everywhere, just like home. They do belong there and I'm supposed to wipe them off to see myself again in the mirror. It brought me back to the very first day I stepped into that school and now I'm almost three years apart.

I recalled how happy I was doing what I love to do the most. The sketches I drew, the pictures I took, the characters I created, the music I sang to, the colours I live in, the stories I wrote, the people I met, and the love I've lost to time.

I don't know what took me so long to come back down on earth. Time is so painful yet it's magical. It creates a paradox, I always thought to myself. I get scared whenever I think that there's so much I've not done and time keeps running away.

I let my insecurities eat me up inside that I've lost all my heart to nothing. I felt that I should not be doing all this but it's too late isn't it. Maybe it wasn't time who ran away but I did. But why am I avoiding life so much? Why am I so afraid of it?

I let myself be afraid of it for nothing. What the past has done to me can't be undone. But I have a choice to lead myself out of the darkness don't I? What infinity could offer was what I could never trade for my soul, that breeds life, that slowly breathe subconsciously. I knew that something, somewhere, is patiently waiting for myself to be born again. I just knew it.

I'm starting a new journey. I want to keep all this new memories vividly as a metaphor for every new day. I want to live again. I won't forget yesterday. I promised myself this beautiful Sunday night, I promise.

Love,

A

Lost and senseless. There's no direction. There's no instructions. There's no proper navigations.

There's no right from wrong. There's no truth from lies. There's no yes from no. There's no light from darkness. There's no smiles from sadness. There's just nothing. There's just no soul. There's just no light. There's really nothing.

Are you sure you're doing the right thing?

Thanks mom for helping me with the chores while I'm so busy at work. Thanks for making me milo every night. Thanks for waiting for me no matter how late I am. Thanks for all this little things. (: